LET'S TALK LIFE: I need help for my daughter

Yvonnie Bailey- Davidson, Gleaner Writer

Dear Counsellor:

My nine-year-old daughter is not reading to her grade level. She is disorganised and lacks focus. Her teacher says that she is inattentive and easily distracted.

How can I help her?

- Millicent

Dear Millicent:

Your daughter seems to have several problems. She has both reading and behavioural issues. She needs to be assessed for learning disability, attention deficit disorder and mental retardation. Her hearing and vision need to be assessed as well.

These are the common conditions that affect children in the classroom. Children with these conditions need to be closely supervised in a small class size. They need individual tutoring and need to sit near the teacher and away from the doors and windows. She will need training to pay attention and to focus on her academics.

Many times, these children have low self-esteem, so teachers have to give them classroom activities to boost involvement and confidence. Giving chores like being a monitor or cleaning the blackboard may help to boost self-esteem.

At age nine, she should be reading fluently and so she may be feeling left out in the classroom and so has given up on learning. She may be demotivated and fearful of trying, as she doesn't want to fail. Children who do poorly in school are teased by the other children and are given various names. Name-calling and bullying can be affecting your daughter.

When you take her to be assessed, the therapist will look at all these issues. Help is available but you will need to keep appointments and work with her at home. Homework and studying need to be organised and supervised.

My grandmother wants to be independent

Dear Counsellor:

I am writing about my grandmother. She has difficulty walking but is interested in going places to carry out her usual activities. It is as if she wants to remain independent as long as possible.

- Minerva

Dear Minerva:

Many people don't like being helpless or dependent. As the saying goes, 'Once a man, twice a child'. Individuals with disabilities often have to be assisted in their daily routines. Some people continue to work as long as possible. Your grandmother is used to being independent and earning her own money. It is very hard for an elderly person to give up her independence.

Some caregivers think that the elderly are miserable and cantankerous but this behaviour is because they want to be in charge but increasingly see their independence being whittled away.

It, therefore, means that the caregivers need to keep the elderly involved in the making of decisions, however trivial they may seem.

If you have a disability, you will need to be active as much as possible. There are medical appliances which can assist the elderly to move about and carry out their chores. Ageing persons can still remain active. It is good to keep the mind active with crossword puzzles and computer training.

Email questions and comments for Dr Yvonnie Bailey-Davidson to yvonniebd@hotmail.com or call her at 978-8602.