Let's talk life: What's up with my son?

Yvonnie Bailey- Davidson, Contributor

Dear Counsellor:

My son did his degree and is at home doing nothing. He is with-drawn and does not socialise with the family. He is not seeking a job or helping with the chores. Help.

- John

Dear John:

Many young people are educated but unemployed. They are disillusioned and demoralised. Many have sent out several applications without a positive response. Some individuals get depressed and this is what seems to have happened to your son. Jobs are hard to come by. Counselling will help him cope with seeking a job. He will be able to pull himself together and become more positive. There is self-employment and there are agencies to help him start his business. He needs to be prepared to work in an area different from his degree. You learn various skills when you got your degree. Cross-fertilisation can occur because the basic skills are similar.

Sometimes volunteering at an institution will put you in contact with others who may be able to help. Volunteering will keep him occupied and in the world of work. Staying at home every day will not help him. He could also get involved in community service and learn an important skill. Is he going to church? Church is always looking for volunteers and would gladly take him.

Get a trusted friend to talk with him or take him to a counsellor. He needs to be assessed by a doctor to identify physical or mental problems that he might be having.

Advice for teens

Dear counsellor,

I am a teenager who has been reading your articles and find them interesting. What advice would you give a teenager?

- Andrene.

Dear Andrene,

Teen years are great years; fill with opportunities and new beginnings. Teenagers need to have goals and dreams and should work towards their academic achievements. School years are very important as these years lay the foundation for their college years. You need to work hard at your lessons and focus on your career. Many students waste time and get poor grades and have to repeat the year. Sex should be put off until school is finished and you are working. Christian values are important. Leave sex for marriage. If you abstain from sexual activity, then you will most likely have only one partner and reduce the risk of sexually transmitted infections or cancer of cervix.

Christian values and moral values are based on good reasons. You can see the benefits of these values if you think about it. Have a positive attitude and a spirit of gratitude. Be thankful to God for His many blessings and His grace. Make yourself familiar with God's words and let it be your guide. Learn to solve problems and resolve your disputes with others. Manage your anger, stress and relationships. Stay away from ganja and cigarettes and alcohol.

Live one day at a time and be positive.

Email questions and comments for Dr Yvonnie Bailey-Davidson to yvonniebd@hotmail.com or call her at 9788602.