Doctor's Advice - My boyfriend wants to see girl-on-girl action

• My boyfriend wants to see girl-on-girl action

Q. I am 18, and I have been with my first-ever boyfriend for around six months. Doc, I am puzzled by the fact that he is always talking to me about lesbianism! Why does he do this? His friends are just the same. And they are always trying to encourage us girls to kiss each other as a 'show', in order to turn the boys on. Should we agree, just to keep them happy?

A. It is an odd fact of life that a large proportion of guys are turned on by the idea of 'girl-on-girl' activity. That is why the Internet has literally millions of sites which feature young women kissing each other, and also caressing each other's breasts and even their genitals.

Psychologists differ on precisely why so many males like that type of thing. However, that is how it is. So your guy is not unusual.

But I do not think that you and your friends should give in to your boyfriends' requests. Once you start putting on a show of lesbian kissing for them, matters will very likely progress from there. The guys will probably demand that you start squeezing each other's breasts, and then try to persuade you to move on to stroking each other's bodies.

Do you really want to get involved in all that? If not, then I suggest that all of you now say to your boyfriends 'No way!'

• Is skin-bleaching dangerous?

Q. I am a guy of 17, and I am really interested in the idea of skin-bleaching. But my mother says it is 'dangerous.' Is she correct, doc?

A. I am afraid that bleaching often is dangerous. On the market, there are a number of creams and ointments which can seriously damage the skin. Also, medical experts say that some of those products get absorbed into the system, and then can harm your kidneys or even give you high blood pressure. I would strongly advise against using any of these things.

• Concerned about menses

Q.  I am 16, and have not yet seen my periods. I do have breasts and pubic hair. But the menses just have not arrived. Help!

A Your menses certainly should have arrived by your age, so please see a doctor real soon. She will give you a physical examination, and also arrange a blood test for anaemia, and for estimation of your hormone levels. The fact that you have breasts and pubic hair is a good sign. But you must get this menstrual problem sorted out as soon as possible.

• My bro is hearing voices

Q. My older brother is 21. He has confided in me that he often hears 'voices', which tell him to do things. What is wrong with him? And what must I do?

A. Assuming he is not joking, then the likelihood is that he has schizophrenia. This serious mental condition often arrives around the age of 20 or 21. I think you should talk to your parents about this. It is essential that your brother is assessed by a psychiatrist.

• Sex with a tampon

Q. Last week I forgot that I had a tampon inside me, and I let my fiancé had sex with me while it was inside. Have I done myself any serious harm, doc?

A. No, I do not think so, but as a general rule it is not very hygienic to have sex while you have a tampon inside. Try to avoid this in future.

• College orgy

Q. I am a guy of 21, and last week I got involved in something real stupid at college. We had all been drinking a lot, and there were a few girls there. One of them volunteered to let all the boys have sex with her. The other girls did not like the idea, and left. Well doc, the result was that this young lady lay down on a table and invited all the boys to queue up, so that they could have intercourse. I am afraid that I joined the queue. I was embarrassed, so for me, the sex was over very quickly. Now what is making me fret is this. Could I have caught any form of VD from this unfortunate episode?

A. The first thing I must say is that this girl must have some sort of personality problems. Otherwise, she would not have behaved in that crazy way.

Females who do this sort of thing often have miserable family lives. They seek out sex with multiple partners as a way of getting some sort of 'affirmation'. I imagine that at the end of your party she went home thinking to herself: 'Well, at least all those guys thought I was worth having sex with.'

Now let us turn to you, and the question of VD. If the young lady had any form of sexual infection, then the chances are that you have now got it.

Similarly, if any of the guys who were in front of you in the queue had any type of sexual disease, they will probably have left their germs inside. And you will probably have got those germs.

Some sexually transmitted infections produce no symptoms. So, even though you may have noticed nothing wrong with your sex organs, you definitely should go to a doctor now, and have a check-up. Please explain to him exactly what you did that night.

There remains one other matter. It is quite possible that the poor young woman became pregnant as a result of the night's activities. If so, there has to be a small chance that you are the father.

All in all, it seems to me that it would be a good thing if you guys made enquiries to see if the girl is OK after a night of such crazy behaviour.

• Can aspirin help periods?

Q. Is aspirin OK for period pain, doc?

A. Yes, simple painkillers like aspirin, paracetamol and ibuprofen are good for menstrual pain.But if they do not seem to be strong enough to ease the pain, then please consult a doctor.

• Do I have VD?

Q. I am a male teenager, and I have noticed that under my foreskin there is some kind of whitish stuff, like an ointment. Is this serious, doc? Is it VD? I have never had sex.

A. No, this is not VD. The stuff is called 'smegma,' and all males produce a little of it, from glands located in the skin of the male organ. So it is normal. Nevertheless, it is not good to let it lie under your foreskin, because germs can breed in it, and create inflammation. So all young guys should wash that area, at least once for the day, so as to get rid of this stuff.

• Is it ok to pierce there?

Q. My cousin in England confides all her innermost thoughts to me. She has just told me that she is thinking of getting her clitoris 'pierced' by some sort of metal ring. But isn't that real dangerous, doc?

A. Piercing is common in England, where it is carried out in reasonably hygienic tattooing shops. This is like a little surgical operation. But it can lead to haemorrhage, bruising and infection, and frankly, I do not recommend.

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