Renewing relationships in 2011
Published:Sunday | January 2, 2011 | 12:00 AM
Heather Little-White, PhD, Contributor
The beginning of love is to let those we love be perfectly themselves, and not to twist them to fit our own image. Otherwise, we love only the reflection of ourselves we find in them.
- Thomas Merton
As you anticipate the New Year, resolutions are made for a better life with happiness, prosperity, love and hope. Couples wish for a successful year which is vibrant and sexually charged. As you resolve to improve your relationship in the New Year, it is like beginning again, possible reconciling differences, courting, loving and committing to each other.
Right words
It is important to select the right words and phrases for your New Year wishes. Words are powerful and in the written form, they can warm the heart repeatedly. A simple wish to your love for the New Year is:
Looking back on the time gone by, as the
New Year starts and an old one finishes,
We contemplate what brought us happiness,
And we think of our love.
Recalling all our happy days,
remembering how they enriched our lives,
I wish you Happy New Year!
Apart from exchanging words, you may want to engage in a number of cultural routines and charms to influence the incoming year. These are believed to bring into the New Year good fortune, health, prosperity and love. Below are examples of rituals and beliefs from all over the world that are believed to influence your New Year, making it the best year ever.
Foods for good luck
Black-eyed peas and lentils eaten at the start of the New Year are said to bring riches and safety to the coming year.
Eating 12 grapes, one for each month of the year, for prosperity.
Eating pork at the start of the New Year is said to be lucky because pigs eat moving forward. Therefore, if you eat pork you will move forward in the coming year.
Clothes for good luck
Wear something new in January as this encourages more new clothing to follow.
Wear red clothing for the first few days of the New Year.
What to Do early in the New Year
Speak positive words to your lover early in the New Year to set the tone for the entire year.
Engage in something you are good or successful at, early in the New Year, and this should follow you throughout the New Year.
If you have differences, there should be no crying in January or you will be crying all year long.
Workable resolutions
Traditions aside, couples must make workable resolutions and stick to them. It is better to make a few that you can monitor to ensure that they happen during the year.
Resolve to learn to forgive and forget
Any renewal of your relationship must start with forgiveness to show you accept your partner, even when he makes mistakes. Importantly, you must be willing to forget. When you have finished your disagreement, do not revisit it or use it as a weapon for any issues that may arise in the future.
Resolve to be more open and honest
It is said that honesty is the best policy and to be anything less than honest is to put your relationship at risk. According to Jim McCormick, author of The Power of Risk, "If your partner can't handle the openness, it is better to know now than later." McCormick also suggests that you resolve to ask your partner what you can do to make your relationship better. Openness and honesty can only result in creating a greater bond and adds more fun to the union. As you start the year, you should talk about what each of you can do to make your relationship better. McCormick posits that improving your relationship is a two-way street and it needs the commitment of both partners to make the relationship better (www.sheknows.com).
Resolve to spend more quality time together
As you juggle different schedules, you must commit to spending more quality time together. Resolve to make time for each other so you deeply connect with each other. Diarise weekly, biweekly or monthly unmoveable dates when you will go to see a movie, play, go to dinner or just take a drive or walk through the countryside of beautiful Jamaica.
Resolve to engage in more sex
Resolve to have sex more often, seeing it as something enjoyable instead of just a duty or task. This is important to deepening the intimate connection. Add excitement by planning the intimate sessions including using body oils, sex toys and sexy lingerie. Make an effort to enjoy the intimate time you spend together.
Resolve to support each other
Resolve to give each other your full attention. Your relationship is bound to improve if you support each other's activities, whether it is work or service club or church activities. You can find out what the plans are for the year and see where you can offer help. Critical to this activity is listening to what your partner has to say, acknowledging feelings, reading the non-verbal cues and see where you can be of help without scolding and giving advice.
There is no better time than the New Year to renew hope and add new life to your relationship. May this New Year give you prosperity, ardour, happiness and love in your life.
Reference: www.suite101.com
Send feedback/comments to:heatherl@cwjamaica.com