Doctor's advice - Sick from cheating with 30 men

• Q. Because my husband is useless and selfish in bed, I have cheated on him with more than 30 guys. Now I have discovered a thick, brownish discharge from the vagina. What do you think it could be?

A. In order to prevent people from identifying you, I have shortened your email. I am sorry to hear about the state of your marriage and would urge you to see a counsellor.  Regarding the vaginal discharge, this could be caused by internal bleeding or infection. And if you really have had sex with 30 young men, I would say that the chances of a sexually transmitted infection are pretty high. Quite clearly, you need to see a doctor right away to do some tests. Please do not delay.

• Q. I am a 25-year-old virgin. I've never even allowed anyone to touch me. My problem is that I was brought up to think that masturbation was wrong. But when I was in my teens, I had my first orgasm because the stream from the shower touched my clitoris. Since then, that has been my main mode of masturbation. But over time, I have started using finger stimulation as well, in order to climax. I have reached the belief that it is actually healthy for me to explore my body. But I have a few concerns. First, some time ago, I found that spraying warm shower water on myself no longer brought me to orgasm. So, is there something wrong with me? And have I damaged myself by using the shower in this way? When I meet someone and am ready to have sex with them, will I have problems? Will I really be able to enjoy sex with them? Or will my practices with the shower and my fingers reduce my clitoral sensitivity? I know that you cannot give me definite answers to everything, but I want your professional opinion.

A. Thank you very much. I must tell you that you are fretting quite unnecessarily. You have not done yourself any damage, or 'reduced your clitoral sensitivity'. There is no reason, whatever, to think that when you start having sex, you will have problems.

Indeed, there are quite a few sexperts in the United States who say that a young woman who learns to explore her body, as you have done, will find it easier to enjoy sex when she finds a suitable partner. This is partly because she would have already unlocked the key to orgasm.

I cannot tell you why your showering method of stimulation no longer works for you, but I can tell you that for many females, it simply does not work at all. It may be that these days your body is more used to finger stimulation.

When you finally get into a relationship, you will be able to show your partner precisely what sort of stimulation suits you best. For the moment, I think you would probably benefit from a little commonsense counselling by an older woman, such as a nurse, teacher, doctor or midwife. But I am sure that in the long term, your sex life will work out just fine.

• Q. I am a guy, and I have noticed that when I climax there is a little blood in the fluid. Help!

A.  You must see a doc immediately for an examination and tests. This may be nothing significant, but you could have an infection in the area of the testicle. Do not delay.

• Q. I am a female in my early 20s who is sexually active. But I have trouble staying moist during sex. Are there any home remedies or over-the-counter medications you can recommend to help me?

A. Sorry to hear that you are having this problem with dryness. Unfortunately, there is no medication which will make a young woman produce a larger quantity of vaginal juices.

These secretions come from the glands around the vagina, and from the vaginal walls. In order for them to flow freely, you need two factors:

(i) A relaxed and romantic atmosphere;

(ii) Skillful stimulation by a knowledge-able partner.

However, it is possible to make every-thing more moist by using an artificial lubricant. The world's best-known one is called K-Y Jelly, but there are hundreds of others available on the market.  Your nearest pharmacy or sex-toy store is your best bet. You may also buy reliable products online.

• Q. I am a man in my 30s. I got married in 2005, but my wife left me because I climax too quickly. I have now found a new love, and I have the same problem with her, so she is not pleased with my performance in bed. What can I do to make myself last longer, Doc?

A. It is sad that your first marriage fell apart because of this difficulty. Clearly, you have premature ejaculation, or PE. I guess this is the commonest problem in my postbag, because so many guys suffer from it.

As a temporary measure, you could ask a doc to prescribe an antidepressant drug which delays orgasm. But that would only be a short-term solution. Really, the best results in overcoming PE are achieved by retraining yourself to last longer, through the use of the famous Masters-Johnson grip. The woman applies this to the man, and it takes away his desire to climax.

Generally, it takes several months of this retraining to cure the condition completely. Ideally, you need to be shown the technique by a therapist, psychologist or doctor who is experienced in teaching couples how to use it. But if you cannot find such a person, or cannot afford the fees, have a look at the following website, which will give you guidance as to how it is done: www.pe-tips.com/premature-ejaculation-squeezing-technique

• Q.  My girlfriend, aged 18, has very bad period pain. Would the Pill help her?

A. Almost certainly. At that age, the Pill will usually abolish menstrual pain, or at least reduce it to a very bearable level.

• Q. I am a woman, aged 21. Whenever I have sex with boys, I can't discharge at the same time as them. Is there something wrong with me, Doc?

A. No. Simultaneous orgasm, as it is called, is very difficult to achieve. Many couples don't manage it till they are in their 30s. Incidentally, please take care of your body and avoid sleeping around.

• Q. If I had one of those coil things fitted, would it make my menses heavier?

A. Probably. But you could have one of the special hormone-loaded Mirena coils, which generally make the menses much lighter.

Email questions for Doc to saturdaylife@gleanerjm.com. Read Doctor's Advice every week in the Saturday Gleaner and Sunday's Outlook magazine.