Doctor's advice: Wanting rhythm in their sex life

Q My boyfriend and I are students. We have tried to abstain from sex, but we cannot, as our libido is so powerful. We would like to use the rhythm method I have heard about. How does it work, please? I have heard that it is important to avoid sex for nine days after the period. Is that correct?

No, it isn't. Couples who try to use the famous rhythm method often make mistakes, and the woman ends up getting pregnant. Therefore, I urge you to be very careful.

Most women have a danger time, by which I mean a fertile period, around about halfway between the menses. So there is a relatively safe time for sex immediately after the period and also immediately before one. Note that I only said 'relatively' safe. The fact is, if you have bad luck, you can get pregnant at any time of the month!

Now, you have not told me how far apart your periods are. But let us assume that you have a regular 28-day cycle. If that is the case, your danger time would be from the eighth day of the cycle until the 17th (inclusive).

Very importantly, please note that when making this calculation, you must count the first day of the menses as day one. People often misunderstand this, and mistakenly count the last day of the menses as day one.

Danger time

So on a 28-day cycle, your big danger time would start eight days after a period begins. And it would finish 17 days after the period begins. Therefore, you should be reasonably safe in having sex before day eight, and after day 17. That statement doesn't apply to women who do not have a regular 28-day cycle. They should get a doctor or nurse to help them work out their safe time.

I cannot emphasise too strongly that the rhythm method is a very long way from being 100 per cent effective. You can make it safer in two ways:

1. By keeping a daily temperature chart throughout the year. A doc or nurse who knows about family planning could show you how to use this chart in order to identify your safe time more accurately;

2. By plotting the nature of your vaginal secretions (i.e., whether they are clear, stretchy, etc.) on a special chart. Again, you need a knowledgeable nurse or doc to show you how to do this. More info is available at www.boma-usa.org.

Good luck with using the rhythm method. But I must honestly say that I think you would be wiser trying some more reliable method, like the Pill or the condom.

Q A girl gave me a real nasty twist of my organ last Saturday. And it is still a little painful. Is it true that a twist can fracture the erect penis, as I have heard?

Yes, it is true. But when it happens, it is a very catastrophic event, with intense pain. The guy usually collapses and has to be taken to hospital. From what you say, I think it is unlikely that this girl has fractured your penis. But if you are still in pain, ask a doc to take a look at it.

Q I have had a vaginal discharge recently. I went to one doctor and she said it was thrush. Then I saw another doctor, and he claimed it was yeast. Who is right?

Yeast and thrush are just two names for the same thing: a vaginal infection caused from the fungus called candida. I hope the treatment has now cleared up your discharge. If not, you should get your partner treated too. You see, it is common for a man to reinfect his partner.

Q I was circumcised when I was small, and regret it now. In particular, I have a scar across the penis and it pains me during sex. What can I do, Doc?

I am sorry to hear about this. Unfortunately, sometimes circumcision operations don't work out too well.

It might be possible for a surgeon to remove this tender scar for you. I recommend that you try to get to see the type of surgeon known as a urologist, and find out if he can help.

Q I am a 19-year-old woman, and I suspect I am drinking too much. Several nights a week, I go out with my friends and get pretty drunk. On some occasions, I have passed out cold. Could this harm my health?

Sure. You may well have damaged your liver, and that can be real serious. I hope you realise that some young women (and young men) actually die when they become unconscious because of drunkenness.

From what you say, I think you should see a doc now. Ask her to examine you and to check your liver function tests by means of a blood test.

I hope she will also give you practical advice about how to give up booze.

Q I am a guy in my late teens, and I masturbate maybe three times for the week. Will this harm my health, Doc?

Statistics show that that this is about normal for your age group. There is no way that masturbating three times a week could possibly harm your health.

Q My brother has suddenly developed 'yellow eyes'. Why is this, and what must we do?

This is a sign that he has jaundice. That means an excess of bile pigment in the blood.

There are literally hundreds of different causes of this symptom, but the important thing is that your brother must see a doc right away for tests.

Q I am female, aged 25, and I am sure that my labia are too long. I feel this is putting men off. They think I am abnormal. Is it possible to have an operation to shorten the labia?

If they really are too long, it would be possible for you to take an operation in which a surgical specialist simply snipped off the excess tissue. So you should consult a gynaecologist about this.

However, it is possible that he may tell you that you are mistaken in thinking that the labia are too long. He will be aware that these days, many young women have been misled by seeing airbrushed pictures of porno pin-ups in which the girls appear to have very short labia, or none at all.

Q Every time, I have to get up and speak to my classmates, I get quite nervous, and I develop a lump in my throat. Could this be removed?

It is most unlikely that there is any real lump. Generally, this symptom is caused from contraction of the muscles in the throat due to nervousness. See a counsellor or therapist, who can teach you how to relax when you get up on your feet to speak.

Email questions and feedback for Doc to saturdaylife@gleanerjm.com. Look out for Doctor's Advice in The Sunday Gleaner's Outlook magazine.