Let's talk … life: Depressed about depression

Dear Counsellor:

I am concerned about the stigma attached to mental illness. I suffer from recurrent depression and find it difficult to speak to anyone about my health.

- Carole

Dear Carole:

Mental illness is problematic and may have severe consequences. People generally become overwhelmed with fear if they are diagnosed with it. Many people don't understand the illness and are wary of getting involved with someone who has schizophrenia.

Depression is associated with suicidal and homicidal activities. It is also involved with incompetence at home and work. People with severe depression are unable to function and have to be taken care of. Some people are afraid of the unpredictability of individuals with mental illness and the tendency to become violent.

When people hear about mental illness, they think of a dirty man or woman who is roaming the street and attacking people. Many people with mental illness exhibit poor judgement and lack understanding of their condition. They are unable to see the need for medication or counselling and so get worse, sometimes become vagrants.

Illness is private and is usually kept a secret. People don't want to talk about their illness to strangers and so they speak only to their therapists. You can speak to close family members and friends. Mental illness is treatable and people can function normally. Advocacy groups have lobby for employee rights and equal opportunities at the workplace and school.

Depression, schizophrenia and bipolar disorder are treatable conditions. We need to encourage people to take their medication regardless of their illness.

Remarriage - a step in the right direction?

Dear Counsellor:

I am getting married to a man who is divorced and has three children from a previous marriage. My concern is about the impact of these children on my marriage and the influence of the ex-wife.

- Yvette

Dear Yvette:

Marriage is a challenge and when there are stepchildren this is even more so. Remarriage is a popular option these days, so there has been an increase in blended families and stepfamilies.

You need to discuss the issues involving the children before you get married. Is your husband the custodial parent? If he is, you will have an instant family. Having an instant family is a challenge, as you have to get used to the children and you now have become their guardian.

The challenges will vary depending on the ages of the children.

Teenagers are more challenging than toddlers. Sometimes the elder children don't like the stepmother and can make life difficult for her. The involvement of the father is very important, as he has to discipline his children and act as a referee in disputes.

Each party should set goals and targets to ensure that there is pleasantness in the family. One of the tasks for families is to rear children to be productive, useful and empathic to others. With both parties discussing the issues and having common goals, the challenges will be dealt with.

Stepfamilies can be nurturing if all members pull together. The ex-wife will be in the picture because of the children.

Your husband will be interfacing with the ex-wife about the children.

It is always wise to seek counselling to deal with these issues.

Email questions and feedback to Dr Yvonnie Bailey-Davidson yvonniebd@hotmail.com or call 978-8602.