LET's talk life...Growing old

Yvonnie Bailey- Davidson,  Gleaner Writer

Dear Counsellor:

I will soon retire and I am concerned about making the adjustment. I have been working since age 20 years and the idea of not working scares me a great deal.

- Hyacinth

Dear Hyacinth:

Growing old is a natural part of life, and with it comes changes. In our development, we go through several life changes that can be stressful. I view retirement as simply a change in our lives when we move on to something else. Some people continue working, while others volunteer in the church or community.

Two things of importance as we grow old are our health and our finances. If one is unemployed, you need to find something to occupy your time. Many people start new careers or learn a new skill. Employment provides activity, finances, friendship and togetherness. It, therefore, means that when you become unemployed, you will need to find activities to fill those needs.

Separation from the job can be stressful and traumatic. Some people require counselling to help them cope with the issues of separation and adjustment. Job separation stirs up feelings of anxiety, fear and uncertainty. The future looms ominous and the familiar shores seem distant.

After a number of years at a job, we are literally tied to it. We will need to deal with the instability. We need not fear the future, as some of the familiar activities and routines will always be there. Separation from one activity requires that you find another activity to be involved in. You may have heard of separation anxiety and wondered what this is. Whenever we have to separate from something, anxiety is stirred up.

Friendship is important and should be nurtured for them to be long-lasting. It is in times like these that you need your friends and families. Changes are a necessary part of life, and with guidance and counselling, we can cope.

Caring for the elderly

Dear Counsellor:

I am taking care of two senior citizens. One of my clients is well and functioning adequately. The other person is confined to a bed and is proving a challenge.

What can one expect when dealing with the elderly?

- Ms White

Dear Ms White:

Caregiving is a popular career, as it is big business, especially in the United States. In taking care of others, one needs help and respite for oneself. You need to take time off for yourself to energise, refresh, refocus and to nurture. The prevention of burnout is important, as it is one of the reasons people leave their job.

The population is ageing, and senior citizens will require a lot of assistance from individuals to cope with everyday stressors. Many senior citizens are mobile, working and maintain their independence. This group usually socialises with others of similar age or work with youth as mentors and role models.

To keep active and mentally functioning, one needs to be kept busy with activities, reading and crossword puzzles. The brain and body need to be kept active or senility will set in. Being a senior citizen doesn't condemn you to disability. Whenever one retires, there are changes that occur, and the individual needs to adapt to the new situation.

Some individuals develop dementia and gradually decline in their functioning. The many ailments that can afflict an individual are too many to write about. The commonest problems are diabetes mellitus, hypertension and arthritis. If a senior citizen is dependent, her personal affairs need to be taken care of. One has to be prepared to work with relatives to do banking, shopping, going to the doctor and doing chores.

People like to be independent, and one should endeavour to include the elderly in decision making and problem solving. The care of the elderly requires patience, tolerance and sensitivity. The elderly should be encouraged to take part in activities and go out and make friends. The relatives should, as a group, provide support for those who are dependent.

Many senior citizens like to talk about pleasant memories that they have of the past. Going down memory lane may be a pastime. One other activity that can be useful is the reading of the newspapers to keep the individual up to date with current affairs. One needs to deal with the resultant isolation that occurs whenever someone becomes dependent on others because of illness. Some senior citizens become depressed and would seem to have dementia. The depression should be treated as well as the other illnesses.

Ageing can occur without disability and people hope that this would be their situation.

Email questions to Dr Yvonnie Bailey-Davidson at yvonniebd@hotmail.com or call her at 978-8602.